Tram Stories: A Guy needs a Friend

When my friend arrived at my new apartment I was a little embarrassed by my attire. I was still unpacking boxes and moving furniture around to see what worked, and was wearing shorts and an old t-shirt. He, for some reason, was wearing a double breasted suit, broad at the shoulders and a little loose on him, and had his hands buried in the pockets, elbows creating a diamond shape that housed his torso. He took off his fedora and his hair was immaculately combed and pomaded. I noticed a small chain running from his belt into his pocket.

He complimented the place, taking it all in carefully, less like he was appreciating it and more like he was sizing it up for some purpose, looking at everything out of the corner of his eye, head cocked.

He made himself comfortable on the couch, really comfortable, feet up and hands behind his head.

‘Y’know, a guy could really get used to a place like this.’

Everything he said had this ominous quality, with pregnant pauses that seemed suggestively threatening. ‘It’d be a shame if something were to… happen to this place.’

I sort of ignored him, and continued to move boxes around in an attempt to look busy.

‘You oughta be careful. Living all by yourself can be... hazardous.’ I know for a fact he lives alone, so I have no idea what that was supposed to mean.

I told him I didn’t appreciate his menacing tone, and he sat up, a hand still deep in his pocket, ‘Now look, I was just being friendly, there’s no need to get sore on account of it.’ A strand of greasy hair came loose and sat stuck to his forehead.

I said I thought it’d be best if he left and he sauntered to the door, doing a little trick with the fedora on the way.

‘Be seein’ ya,’ he said, tipping an invisible hat while his actual hat was clutched in his other hand. He smiled a bastard smile, winked at me and left.

What the hell was that all about?!

I thought about it all the next day. I mean, I could be reading far too into this. Maybe all the stuff he said was harmless and I’ve misinterpreted everything? But as far as I’m concerned, we’re no longer friends. He used to be such a nice guy before he got that suit.